Monday, March 05, 2012
  It's time to take a good look at myself from now on. I hate myself. What's new, right? I can really be such a insecure bitch, who thinks too much and too deep into everything. I value relationships too much, and I care far too much. I reminisce too much and too often. Why do I let the past affect me all the time? Things have changed, and I want to learn to accept them the way it is. I hate how I always compare the past with the present, and miss all those times that would never come back again. Sometimes, I really wish I can just be a normal girl, have fun with friends, let my boyfriend be just like a best friend. A girl who trusts easily and is able to look at things on a wider, more positive view. A girl who knows how to deal with everything well and not let things affect me so easily. A regular girl, who would not hold on too tight to things that are not meant to be. Why, why do I let myself be so prone to pain, and misery? Why can't I ever be happy? Why can't I just take it easy, and just always remind myself to look at things from another point of view and stop letting anything or anyone hurt me. Why can't I be who I want to be, instead of this pathetic nothing that I am now? I guess it's time to take some time, look at myself, and reflect. I want to change, not for anyone else, but for myself. I want to be a better person, and I just want to stop hating myself and feeling like the world could do better without me. It's time to just focus on myself and my own future for now. I just want to be happy, simple as that. Is it really so hard? - Lost days, faded pictures. Wednesday, February 29, 2012   - Finally, the end of my poly life. At last, I've breezed through my 3 years of poly life and took my very last exam, last Friday, in Nyp. Just the thought of going back there for graduation feels so exciting. (: Gotta pray hard my last semester's results will be good though. Kinda regretting now that I didn't study harder these three years. I could achieve much better results and land myself in a local university. But I took things for granted, slacked and lazed my way through. Thought it'd be good enough, and now what? I'm gonna end up in some private university thanks to my laziness. Now I'm even too lazy to gather all the things I need, and start sending in my application to all the universities. The thought of how troublesome the process is, makes me keep procrastinating. Whywhy, why am I sucha lazy ass? ): Someone, please wake me up and get me going. Motivate me to send in my applications, find a part time job, and stop wasting my time and life away at home everyday watching dramas and playing games! :/ Anyhow, remember how I keep saying I've nothing to look forward in life? That feeling's getting stronger and stronger these day. Everything's changed, and nothing really seems to matter anymore. I'm learning to be more independent, more open. I'm cutting all strings loose. I've almost no close friends left. I'm just, living day after day and wishing it'd come to an end soon. Alright, what a fucking depressing post. On a happier note, GRADUATE LO! xo. Lost days, faded pictures. Sunday, February 12, 2012   Everything's not going right for me now. Been drinking almost every Friday and Saturday. Life's screwed right now. Friends? Maybe only E1 and Joey has been around me to console me and talk to me, accompany me even though they are really tired and really don't want to spend money on drinking. I don't even have the mood to study anymore, when my exams are starting this coming Friday. I'm really gonna end up screwing up this last semester. What happened to making this last lap, a good one? Relationship wise, I'm not gonna say much here. But I really hope nothing goes wrong. Because I don't ever want to lose you again, really. I love you. I just want things to be fine again, life to be fun again, and us to be sweet again. I've never felt so alone before. Like its really just me against the world. - Lost days, faded pictures. Thursday, February 02, 2012   - I love you baby. Happy 28th's. ♥ Just celebrated our monthsary earlier, met Baby at Bugis and had dinner at Lenas again. Wasted my main course, yet again, cause I didn't really like it. But their desserts are mad awesome. Monstercue for pool, and went to chill at boat quay with Lp and Ryan before cabbing home. Spending so much money on drinking these days, it's really crazy! That aside, I'm graduating from Nyp really soon! Two more weeks till exams, three more weeks till the last day of being a poly student. Honestly, I still don't know what I'm gonna do with my future. SIM, Local Universities (Lousy GPA, though), Work? Okay, last one's probably out cause Dad's gonna kill me. Maybe I shall just ask him, since he's always the one deciding my future for me, and I can't say otherwise anyway. Got into Nyp, studying B&F because of him. So, why not let him do it again right? Since I'm just really studying for the sake of the certs, for better employment opportunities in the future. So.. Whatever. Slacking so much this semester. Skipped almost all the lectures, and now that debarment's over, I've skipped almost two whole weeks of school already. Only appearing when there's presentations. I'm growing into such a lazy ass. ): Really ought to start studying and doing notes soon, and make this final lap a good one. Ohno, suddenly feel like I've alot to do. Gonna be a hectic two weeks for me. Hello February, please be good to me and pass by in a breeze. xo. Lost days, faded pictures. Tuesday, January 03, 2012  - Happy 2012 people, have an awesome year ahead. (: Gosh. I've been playing the whole of this holiday, till I forgot about all the work I'm supposed to do. Suddenly hit me when I realised the number of projects due next week and the week after next. There's even a paper next week that I didn't know of. What? Really lost all the mood and motivation for school, projects and exams. Urgh. Anyway. Had a quite fail birthday celebration for Prissy on the 28th. All the last minute people who decided they couldn't make it, turn off really. But at least we managed to surprise her I guess? Most embarrassing day ever, walking around Bugis junction in pink spongebob pyjamas. Hope you enjoyed your birthday, bestfriend. ♥ New Year countdown was so-so. Steamboat dinner with 3 other couples. (: But damn fail, we kinda did our countdown at the steamboat place itself. And the tall buildings just had to block the fireworks. Tsk. Ate like free and I left, still hungry. :/ Holiday Inn to get alcohol, Monstercue, Joey's place for drinking session and went back home near morning? I don't really feel like 2012's gonna be great at all. No more stay overs for me at Bb's, which really kills the mood. I'm going to graduate but, why so happy? I'll need to continue studying in a private university anyway. Pool skills beginning to suck very much. Still, nothing to look forward to. Oh well. Shall spare you from my pessimism. On a lighter note, can't wait for CNY to come! Gonna grow fat eating all the goodies. Pineapple tarts and Bak kwas, here I come. :D xo. Lost days, faded pictures. |
[♥] This is my blog ; So, I type what i want. [♥] Be a nice reader, Drop a tag every visit! :D [♥] Go ahead and spam. Cowards deserve no say in anyth. [♥] Enjoy.  Christina, a.k.a Chrissy. (: 10th November 92'. Chrisosy_92@hotmail.com | Private | Tumblr | Fb | Formspring | [♥] Dearest sisters. 21st September '06, Prissy &Gillian. ♥ [♥] Baby love. 1st October '09, Boo Peixun. ; ♥ [♥] Daddy, Ahpa &Ahkor Danny, ZhengZhi, ZhiYong. [♥] Nyp Girlfriends Wei Qi &Serene. [♥] SJC Clique WenLing, MuiGhern &Monica. ♥ All who played a part in my life - whether we're still keeping in contact or not. You guys will be remembered. (:  1st October 09', Fates intertwined. ♥ Drop a tag to be linked! (: Inactive links will be removed. ♥ Priscilla ♥ Gillian ♥ Peixun 1 Humility 05' 2 Faith 06' 3/4 Grace 07'/08' Anti-Pink PCG ♥ SJC Concert Band Avril Belinda Bernadette Bertha Cara Carissa Connie Deanna Delia Ding Yuan Eugena Eugene Germaine Gladdys Huai Ping Irfana Jaron Jason Joanne Jolene Jolyn Kailin Lynn May Miss Ling Mui Ghern ♥ Poh Khoon Pooja Pork Priscilla Chia Quek Hong Serene ♥ Sharmaine Sharon Stephanie Tan Stephanie Weidya Swee Choo Teresa Vanessa Goh Vanessa Ho Vanessa Joseph Wen ling ♥ Xin Yi Yan Yan Yi Lin Yvonne Zheng Zhi (Blogger) Zheng Zhi (Tumblr) Zhi Yong ♥ Zi Yi Base codes from : Chili. | -Littlemissbabie Re-edited by : Chrissy. All rights reserved. (: |